This is probably an unfamiliar term to many people. HSP? What on earth is that? Well as I’ve searched to find out more about it, I’m now more clued up and can tell you… It stands for Highly Sensitive Person.
One of my favourite Mental Health figures to learn from is Kati Morton (I watch her videos regularly on YouTube to learn more about mental health and it’s impacts). She recently discussed this topic and it made me interested to discuss my own relation to being a somewhat Highly Sensitive Person.
Now, it’s important for me to point out that the term Highly Sensitive Person may make some of you think it’s a disastrous term to associate myself with. But the word “sensitive” can have so many definitions or be interpreted in many different ways.
I recently took the HSP test online and scored 13. So I am going to do my best to in my true honest form, discuss the ways in which I associate with being a HSP.
Other people’s moods affect me
It’s probably something that I have in common here this feeling. But when someone is in a bad state, my mind goes into complete overdrive thinking how I could help make the situation better. On the other hand, if the mood is that of a more angry emotion, I tend to feel very withdrawn from those sorts of environments. This makes my confidence shatter and it takes me a while to then build up positive feelings with person A, B or C.
I have a rich, complex inner life
This is something that instantly in my own mind is self explanatory. For starters, I have Dyspraxia and Autism Spectrum Condition. Then to add to this I also have eczema, acne and allergies to nuts, cats, dogs and pollen. Every single one of these things plays a part. The tsunami of questions invade my mind: Why don’t I gain clarity in enough situations? Why does my body react negatively to seemingly everything? Why can’t I enjoy a health relationships with animals that I actually have a liking for? (especially cats, I am a cat lover). Why do I have to start feeling like the squeaky penguin from Toy Story when I try to mow the lawn? So many questions, right? The analogy I often use is that my brain is like a washing machine on a non stop spin cycle.
My nervous system feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself
This is something that comes into play every so often but it send me into shutdown mode in terms of the social side of things. To be totally honest here, this would mainly occur if I’d had an argument or disagreement. We all have them! It’s just how we react to them. But hey, we all learn! Sometimes I interpret people’s tone of voice differently or I feel attacked by someone verbally and that’s when I shutdown and also withdraw from the interaction for a while. The main reason as to why this happens is I feel that when I’ve ever had an argument or disagreement or a bad interaction with someone, that I’m more in the wrong than anybody else. I always feel the most guilty yet if this was me in a situation with a neuro-typical person, I’m the one with more challenges socially.
I am conscientious
This statement could be the shortest one. But to put it simply, I work efficiently. The difference being, is that I work harder until other people can see the evidence that I’ve done so. It never crosses my mind to think about it because at the end of the day I know I’m not the boss. And I don’t call the shots.
Changes in my life shake me up
Changes happen all the time. And people always react differently to change. But various changes in my life have impacted me for sure. Moving house has to be one of the main ones. At the start to the process, I wasn’t invested in the idea at all. I loved where I used to live and enjoyed the countless memories I had there. Moving all my belongings to somewhere else and find a space for them all as quickly as possible, and where that may be interpreted as being selfish, some of my belongings help me to feel happier and without having them easily accessible, made me feel overwhelmed. The second change that had shaken me up… Erm… Being an adult… Yeah that! There are various factors that have affected being an adult for me. One of these such things, has been my understanding that my friends from school won’t be interested in the same routine that I’ve pretty much forever been accustomed to… And loved for that matter. Also, having to deal with things such as finance, that’s also something that increases my anxiety a lot because I want to be able to at least enjoy a sense of spontaneity but also the planning for this I find incredibly daunting, due to the fact that the world is an expensive place to be.
I try to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things
I try, yes. Still doesn’t mean I don’t do either of these things on a regular basis. Sometimes, my mind has too many things on it that I just want to be at peace with my emotions and live in the now. Planning ahead is not something I want to do. Whereas it’s something that has become mildly exciting at points, planning ahead in many contexts just overwhelms me. Also, making mistakes for example when I’m learning how to do things, I always get the idea that if I try something and get it horribly wrong, it’s a disaster and that I won’t be able to put it right. In terms of forgetting things… Everyone forgets things! I just forget things more often than your average person. And I go back to the whole idea that when I forget things, my mind is often elsewhere and thinking of so many other things that I’m not able to remember all of the important things, which just makes me think I’m Mr incompetent at times.
These are just some of the traits of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) that I identify with the most and have more or an understanding of how I relate to.
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