It’s a very significant day today. Yet I didn’t even know it. Maybe this day was designed like that, as to be so discreet that it paints the picture as to what life can be like for people living with mental health challenges. Discreet. Being quite far and away beyond people’s thinking. I think this is true at times.
On a day like today, it’s one of these days which just reinforces the point about kindness, caring for one another and asking people “are you ok?” These 3 things. Surely not too much to ask for? Yet sometimes I do feel that maybe not all but at least one of these things is sometimes lacking. It’s not easy to be straight to the point and honest. Do people really want to sit down and have a heart to heart for a couple of hours? Do people invest the time in listening to people pour their heart out and all the emotion that comes with it? This is something I want to promote. Therefore, to go with the statement close to my heart from one of the leading organisations in the mental health industry… It’s time to talk. So I’m going to be discussing today the key components that create my “Happy Place”. I’d love to here about what your “Happy Place” is too. Spread the word.
Having a close circle of friends:
This is such an important thing to me, while also being something I felt I had no confidence to find at times. Fast forward to around June time this year and I managed to find a small group of people who have really lifted my spirits in many ways. They have given me more of a sense of belonging and they are also people that “get it”. By that I mean they understand me and they accept me for the person I am and make every last effort to listen to what I have to say. And that goes both ways. These are people I have a lot of time for who I also value what they have to say and will do everything to help them and give them a sense of belonging. This friendship circle is an environment where I feel I can be my true, authentic self. I wish I could say that more often!
Enjoying games with the family:
I love to play some very particular games that I’m interested in. I love to play Ludo as well as Scattergories. Scattergories is essentially one of the more sociable type of games in my opinion as you’re able to question each other and talk about the different areas of knowledge that you have. And Ludo is great fun all the time. At the end of the day, it’s not about winning but taking part and having fun. When I spend time with my family, playing games is an essential part of that “Happy Place”.
Ice Hockey:
Those who know me will know that I’m a really big fan of ice hockey. Whether it’s going to watch my local team the Nottingham Panthers at their rink or watching my favourite NHL team, the Boston Bruins on TV… I’m a very passionate fan. Sometimes my emotions get the better of me at times due to this intense passion. I have invested hours of complete joy and also some of bitter disappointment in watching my favourite team. It is a dream of mine to be able to go to my favourite team’s rinks to watch them more often as this is something that I find fun and to experience the joy of a goal being scored to win a crucial game… I couldn’t say no to that! Obviously that goes 2 ways, my team could be on the losing end of the result… But I will forever hold the sport in general of ice hockey very close in my heart. It will always have a special place. And being at the rink watching the team also provides me some time to unwind from everything else that could be going on in my life which is a point well worth mentioning. At the end of the day, the entertainment itself is what washes all the bad energy from inside of me away.
Football:
I’ve been a football fan most of my life. I may right now be supporting a team going through a rough patch… But my love for Manchester United will never fade away. It’s absolutely imperative as a general rule of life that you are able to experience the ups and downs. When the ups are there, the feeling makes you ecstatic. But when the mood is down, it is a challenge as to how it will affect you. But where this all relates to the mental health topic is how a sense of community is built through a fan base. By chatting away with other fans, you share that same love and passion for the team and can offer each other that relief from having to witness the struggle of your team. I have experienced this for 6 years in a row now. But I’m never going to stop supporting Manchester United. Because I’ve experienced the highest of highs supporting this great club to turn my back on them. Having experienced the evening buzz of Old Trafford even just once, Manchester United are a part of my “Happy Place”.
Music
How could I forget. Well, I couldn’t considering at some point, Facebook will remind me of the countless tracks that I have a love for that I have shared with people. But in particular, house music, club music, disco music and everything in between those sub genres to an extent is what sort of music I love the most. The energy and feeling of mania it gives me is quite unreal really. I love moving to my favourite music. I don’t think I only speak for myself when I say music makes the world go round. Music is truly I believe something that energises the soul. Something that also has emotions run deep in some lyrics, which at times truly resonate with me. What is quite evident, is that whenever my favourite music is playing, I’m in my “Happy Place”.
Video Games:
I grew up playing video games and I will always have a huge feeling of nostalgia when I play video games. My first ever console was the Nintendo 64 and I had some amazing games on that thing. Many enjoyable (and mildly competitive) experiences were had on games such as Mario Kart. Or even enjoying the plot of a single player game like Donkey Kong. Video games will always be an important component in making me feel a sense of joy.
Solitary Activities:
The last component in what creates my “Happy Place” is the solitary activities I enjoy such as criss cross and codebreaker word puzzles. I take a slow, accurate, methodical approach in order to get the right answers and more importantly, this is one of very few environments where I feel being slow, accurate and methodical is something that I can actually celebrate.
I think it is extremely important to be able to share positive stories and positive words with people. It’s also important that people have a voice and can feel like they belong in the world. This is what people live for. To feel loved, to feel like they can have fun and to feel like they can challenge themselves at the right time… Without feeling the pressure of society hanging over like a dark cloud.
Some people, very much like myself, may feel like a baby bird who wants to stay in the nest and feels reluctant to spread it’s wings and fly and experience the world. Some people just need longer to be able to understand themselves and to come to terms with what is going on in their lives. I wish for everyone to feel accepted and given a chance to make their mark on the world… For so many people have an incredible amount of potential that the world doesn’t know about yet! If there’s anything I want people to take away from reading this, it’s to make every effort to ensure people have a sense of belonging. And why not ask people whatever frame of mind they are in “Are you ok?” There’s a chance that the power of those 3 words alone could help someone feel like they belong in the world just that little bit more!
Sam's Mental Health Blog 