Literally. The title… I second it. If you don’t laugh, you cry. Joking about some things helps me to “grin and bear it.” Because if I didn’t- I know I’d be straight back in that dark place again thinking bad thoughts. And I don’t want to do that.
Ultimately I want to prosper. I’m too scared to say the live long bit because I’m scared of the process of aging. I’m probably going to stick to a mantra of never taking a photo when I look like I’m aging and going grey. Because I just want to enjoy life and have minimal worries. But I feel healthy right now and that’s what I’ll champion in the here and now.
But it’s impossible! It’s impossible living in a place where at one time or another, the media, humans (yes, actual humans) are talking about national crises like an energy crisis. Things like this stress me out so much. They make me argumentative, I lose all compassion for the world, I grow in contempt, and I lose my will for wanting a rational and mature conversation. After all, I find the art of conversing with people with no shared reality to myself an unfathomable challenge. Dyspraxia for you. With a dusting of Autism.
I don’t really know what people expect from someone who’s not your average person. If I was the average person, life would be do boring lol. I do sympathise to an extent with people. But that’s it. Like yeah, OK, people are struggling out there in the world. Lots of things are unprecedented. I truly get that. But bringing up young people, I don’t think parents of 20 something year olds bother telling them about the very possibility that crises the world over are going to impact your mental health. Because they don’t want us to worry. And the rest that comes with that and maybe the generosity leaves you worse off. It’s a double-edged sword. Shared reality or your own reality that you’ve worked for!
Of course some things aren’t that simplistic. Some people don’t have the same chance. But I as an individual can’t control that… And I don’t plan to either. I want to get to grips with my own life and create foundations that I’m happy with. Don’t you realise that worrying about things you can’t control batters people’s mental health further! So my pledge is to never worry about things outside my circle of thought ever again. Why would I do myself the discomfort?
There’s so many things I question about the world. It does take a chainsaw to my energy levels as well. This morning I enjoyed going to a group therapy and was able to discuss my wants and needs as a neurodiverse individual. This was incredibly refreshing, and being heard and asked questions about why I have the mentality towards things that I do… I can’t lie… It was wonderful. The 8th wonder of the world!
All I really want to do, is be a part of a world that I don’t have to worry about the present or the future. I already have enough anguish from past experiences to put energy into present and future thoughts. I NEED various things to provide a safety net for me. I WANT to have enough resources so I can buy my favourite things and continue living the way I do- with inevitable changes on the way later down the line which will be able to hopefully increase that. As I said at the top of this post… I want to prosper. And at the moment, while I’m afraid of all this talk of a crisis… All I can do is laugh and make a joke out of it. But that’s OK, right? Doesn’t laughing heal the soul? That’s what I was told.
Sam's Mental Health Blog 